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Ok, spill it; why have you been following me around with those puppy dog eyes? You think I’m going to swoon now that I have a pair of breasts? You know who I am. You know what I’ve become. I can’t help that the virus did a REAL number on me!
Look, I’m not blind; I know what I look like now. Not to sound stuck-up but I would have cut my arm off just to TALK to a girl as hot as I am. And it’s odd because I’m starting to LIKE how I look. I mean, I want to be pretty now and it’s kind of freaking me out. You see the makeup? I ASKED my mom to show me how to use it. I hated doing it but I LOVE how it makes me look. This virus thing has completely messed me up and these hormones are making me nutty. It’s like I’m still me but I’m also somebody else. Look, I know that doesn’t make much sense but the last thing I need is my best bud crushing on me too, alright?
What? Oh you jerk, I’ve missed you too! You always did know how to calm me down. Listen, I . . . still want you around but this is all new to me. You smiling at me like I’m the best thing ever doesn’t DISGUST me, I just don’t know what to do with it. Knowing guys like me and me not HATING it is still weird. Like I said, these past few months have been crazy, ya know? Hormones and stuff, right? Look, let’s just head to my place and play some Call of Duty. Let’s take it slow. SLOW or I SWEAR I’ll make your crotch match mine, got it?