Welcome To The Modern Goddess

Visual exploration of fantasies in gender-fluidity, femininity, glamour,transformation, illusion, cross-dressing, dominance and submission. Images posted here are NSFW and are the properties of the respective owners.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

We'll Leave The Light On For You - A few words for those who are leaving.

The last caption posted here was made for Caitlyn-Masked.  Most of you here are familiar with her blog and her captions (if you aren't, I would suggest you take a look at them.)  I've known her for a number of years and I've watched her become a fantastic caption-maker.  What's more, I consider her a friend.  And now my friend is leaving.  For how long is not known.  It may be a short hiatus or it may be permanent.  Life always takes priority over what we do here, so I am happy that life has given her a chance to evolve.  Of course the selfish part of me hopes she will find time/inspiration to return.  I'm certain I'm not the only one who feels this way.

To make things even more somber, another established caption maker is moving on.  While Smitty isn't leaving completely, he won't be doing TG captions for anymore.  Smitty has always been interesting and has a high standard for his work. 

I made my first TG caption in 2008 on Rachel's Haven.  I had NO idea what I was getting into and why I was doing it, but I've come to know others who's created TG stories and captions.  Most of those people I first met are gone.  Dee is one of the originals and it seems we are the "elders" of things within our little community, especially when it comes to Rachel's Haven. 

The nature of this desire (kink, fetish, longing - whatever it means to you) keeps us at an arms length from each other.  We post blogs and forums about a wish to be a woman or a sexual fantasy involving this desire.  It's a wish to be something else, yet we can't freely express it.  So when someone leaves the community, it can be very sad. 

I bring this up for a few reasons.  First and foremost, I'm sad to see people I respect go.  Another little light goes out and the darkness creeps deeper into the sanctuary.   It also makes me realize I'll one day walk away.  When that is, I have no clue and don't wish to think about it now.  Lastly, it proves that we don't appreciate these creators who help us all touch on a fantasy few of us can even experience.  Some actually need more than a fantasy and change their bodies.  Surgery and legal matters allow them to become women.  That number is few and far between for a host of reasons. Some of you know the feeling of a bra digging in your flesh or the caress of a sexy dress.  You don wigs and even brave the world.  A few of you are even good at it!  But for the vast majority, dreaming is all there is.

Some have never made a caption or written a story.  Some have never commented on one, written a story or anything to the matter.  That silence is deafening.  Back when I first discovered TG stories, I used to read beautiful stories on Fictionmania and wonder why they had no reviews.  Times goes on and I understand, but it makes me sad.  I do my best to try to leave a note of some sort, especially if I enjoyed it.  I can't say I've always done so but I do my best.  Because I would hate for a writer or creator to think people don't understand.  Some of my favorite blogs post tons of quality material will little feedback.  I want them to know they invoked a response from me (even if it's not the most pure one).

So to you, read reader, I urge you to show your appreciation while you can.  You might not have your favorite TG writer or caption maker around.  And to those creators who step away, I hope you find happiness wherever you go.

I'll leave the light on for you so you can find your back in the dark.

Another caption tonight for you all.  My final Caitlyn caption will be up soon as well.  Until next time.


  1. "...we are the "elders" of things within our little community..."

    What am I, chopped liver? :-)

    Amanda Hawkins

    1. To elaborate: My work goes back to 2007, as anyone who has checked out my website can see. I like to think I'm part of the captioning community, even though I write illustrated stories and vignettes as well as TG caps. The community is inclusive enough for that, isn't it?


    2. Perhaps I should have been more specific when I said "community". when I said that line, I was mainly referring to those who came out of Rachel's Haven as caption makers around the same time as I did. I'm well aware that many others have been making stories and captions for YEARS before I discovered it.

      As for yours, I only recently discovered your blog and I see you have an extensive amount of material. I’m well aware that there are plenty who have been around LONG before me and those I know. Plenty who remember the days of laycos/yahoo groups, earthlink and old websites. I owe them a debt because many of them inspired me and others. The TG/TF/CD fiction was the genesis. I also know there are other places to go for such things (and would like to find new ones if anyone would like to recommend any.). It would be nearly impossible to tribute them all in a small blog post.

      The people I mention in this post are people I’ve had a fair amount interaction with through a combination of forum posts, IM chats and emails. There are also the latest in a long line who started in the same place as me and expanded out to the community at large.

    3. Sorry. I didn't mean to upset anybody. I shouldn't have spoken up. I guess I was just feeling unnoticed and unappreciated (as we writers often are). I'll go away now.

    4. No need to go away, just simply clearing things up!

  2. i understand the sentiment so if i like a post anywhere (and not just kink) then I'll say something to the one that wrote it cos you never now if they're always be around.
    People moving on can have many reasons change of mind or simply not enough time to indulge.
    Caitlyn's vocational calling is one that is most worthy so while it's sad the captioning has stopped, no doubt much good will come from her time devoted to the day job so i'll wish her all the best with that.
    Looking forward to your next post

  3. I read about it this morning, and was like, "Damn, losing Smitty AND possibly Caitlyn Masked in one week ... FUCK!"

    I think this means that others need to step up their game! Perhaps someone that was inspired by Caitlyn or Smitty's work will try to make some captions or write a story for Fictionmania.

    We've lost quite a few peers in our days of captioning, but as long as we can keep the turnover rate down and get new people to fill their spots and continue on with consistency (which Smitty certainly kept up a substantial output!) maybe we can have another golden age of TG captioning!

  4. Hmm... maybe I should start commenting. Maybe I should write a few more things. Shame such inspirational sentiments only ever follow a much more depressing loss. Maybe we should change that.

  5. Best wishes to CM and Smitty and to all of you who wondered "Could I do this?" I was you a couple of years ago - a lurker, a fan, and I had an idea. Spent no money but took some time and had a lot of fun. FYI, I predict in about a year I may be "dormant" based on what will happening in my life. I think it's like walking off the field after playing for years in a sport or when a successful TV show or play closes for the last time.

    To invoke the MASH TV series finale, to say my respects to all that have come and shared their visions, their dreams, and their hearts - "Goodbye Farewell and Amen" :)

  6. I was shocked to learn that Smitty was moving on as well. I've always figured that my time here as Caitlyn was never destined to be long lived. There have just been to many times where I couldn't find my muse or had an actual persona crisis. But Smitty? When Smitty had a 'down' time he only created a couple captions in a week, and then returned with dozens upon dozens of devilishly creative works.

    I am glad to read that he's not leaving behind capping all together and instead is just moving on to another area of interest for him.

    While I always give Dee credit for drawing me into the capping world, I've always looked up to you as a mentor as well. Your beautifully designed caps were a constant inspiration to spread my wings and let the design and layout be as big a part of my caps as the story and images. I'll always be grateful for that.

    I also appreciate you leaving a light on for us who are wandering away. While I don't know how I'll keep in contact, I don't tend to wander to far way. I may no longer be in the light, but I'll be lurking just outside it's warm glow... looking inside with fond memories.

    I want to elaborate on something you said here... we've all made posts about commenting. How important it is to let someone know how much their work has touched you and letting them know that their efforts were successful and appreciated. Another side of that is getting to know each other. Over the years I've made many good friends in this community. Some are fellow cappers that I would touch base with and talk 'shop' with. Others transcended that type of relationship and became true friends. We'd share details of our lives that would never make it to our public blogs and grew closer and closer.

    These friends are the main, if not the only, reason that I'm not just closing up shop and leaving 'Caitlyn' behind as a mere memory. I may not get nearly the same thrill out of reading captions any longer... I may never have the desire to cap again... but I want desperately to keep in touch with my friends.

    So back to you Simone... thank you again for your constant inspiration, your steady influence and your perpetual style. But most of all thank you for being my friend!


  7. What a wonderful and thoughtful post. Indeed, change is the only thing we can be certain of. I think I am understanding that more and more as I get older (I've just cleared my teens).

    I am definitely sad to see two great caption makers go. I've read both of their blogs and it was Caitlyn's captions which helped me realize that designing the layout of a caption could be just as intense as writing it.

    Thank you for this great reflective piece Simone.

  8. I'm still so bummed about Evie H disappearing. I know that people have time and life commitments that come first, but seeing some of you folks shut down is like losing an old friend. I do love all the many voices in this community and am trying to do my part to breath life into my little piece of the TG CAP world. Keep those thoughts and comments coming.

    Thanks Simone. >:)


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